Ephesians 5:15-33 - Marriage’s Mutual Submission

Ephesians 5:15-33 

Walk in Wisdom

15 See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, 16 redeeming the time, because the days are evil.

17 Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18 And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit, 19 speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, 20 giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21 submitting to one another in the fear of God.

Marriage—Christ and the Church  (cf. Col. 3:18, 19)

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Submission in the biblical sense is quite different than what we define it as today.  When the word of God here speaks of submission it is both mutual and willing for the good of the other and of God’s church.  Willing because it begins with wisdom to define the evil times we live in and how we are to live and walk in the world around us and with one another as God has directed us to do for His glory and our good.  Mutual because we submit to each other in the fear of God, with reverence and cognizance of the consequences of pride, prejudice, and control when we put ourselves first.  We have been implored to buy back the time we have been given in grace and not in waste as we live carefully with purpose and not foolishly with sinful abandon.  To understand the will of the Lord means we pay close attention to His word and the direction of our life in alignment with His commands and desires for us individually and corporately.  This includes avoiding drinking to drunkenness as we fill ourselves with the Spirit of God in pursuing Him and not the way the world pulls us back to in its passing pleasures of sin (Hebrews 11:25, 1 John 2:15-16, 17) in opposition to Him and our good as His word is given for us to work righteousness to please our Creator.  We do this corporately by gathering together to keep each other on this path (Hebrews 10:24-25) as we sing praises that move our hearts in the direction of scripture (2 Timothy 3:16-17) to redeem our time together we have been given with thanksgiving.  This is one way we submit to one another and fear God by yielding (Philippians 2:4, James 3:17) to what is good for others and not just ourselves.  Another way we submit to the roles and responsibilities under God’s authority is in the covenant relationship of marriage which is also a commitment and mutual service to each other.  There are defined roles put in place by God to make this work just as there is humble service in positions of ministry that enable the word of God to shape and direct the church to accomplish the mission and ministry of the gospel of Jesus Christ.  It is countercultural that the wife is given such a short three sentences about submission while the bulk of the passage is directed at the husband due to his increased responsibility in the role given because of the Fall in the beginning that resulted in this corrupted world we all live in through the deception (1 Timothy 2:13-14) of disobedience (2 Corinthians 11:3) to God’s clear command.  This does not make the wife a lesser person to be used by her husband but an honored partner whom together allows the couple to have godly children (Malachi 2:15) by honoring God in the roles left to each for the betterment of the whole in serving one another just as in the church (Ephesians 5:32-33).  The husband’s submission therefore is much more involved in that it requires self-sacrifice in loving and cherishing the bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh (Genesis 2:23) created to be by his side and entrusted to him as a colaborer in the gospel.  Just as the Lord cherishes His church, marriage requires the mutual submission within the roles proportioned to each one with true love and respect.  This is counter-cultural in the world but for the good of all and to the glory of God in our calling out of the world in His body the church.  May we walk in this wisdom and not in that of this corrupt world we move around in until we are in His presence at last and no longer require these resultant roles as the presence of sin is vanquished forever!  We anticipate the marriage supper of the Lamb of God with awe and excitement as this shadow of the church wed to our Lord eliminates the need (Matthew 22:30) for the marriage between man and woman as we submit fully to Him and find never-ending companionship in God that satisfies all aloneness (Genesis 2:18) once and for ever.  In the meantime we practice mutual submission in serving one another in marriage here according to our God-given roles.